how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
