We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
