I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
