it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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