Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
