Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
