I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i think i have two assholes
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
