I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
