Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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