just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
