Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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