i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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