so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
