Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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