The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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