Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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