I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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