i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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