FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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