Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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