so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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