omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
