OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
