so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
