Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
