I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
