Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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