Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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