dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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