And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
