It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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