whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
