I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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