xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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