dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
