I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
