you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
