my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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