im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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