So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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