At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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