I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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