All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Boobs speak an international language.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
