I am puke
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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