dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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