You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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