Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
