I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
