Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
