she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
